Marriage: That shit is hard

Anyone else ever wake up to a perfectly fine morning and then just like that it all shifts and you think: "That's it! Today's the day I kill my husband."

*Listen up! This is hyperbole.  I'm being incendiary and sarcastic and speaking figuratively.  If you LITERALLY kill your spouse you're probably an asshole and you deserve a long time in jail to reflect on that.  We on the same page? Ok.  Sweet.

I'm married to the most wonderful, dynamic, thoughtful, considerate, interesting man and today I want to punch him in the dick.  Marriage.

There's a bullshit notion floating around our society that one person (like a spouse) is supposed to complete us, fill us up, make us whole, be our everything all the time no matter what.  It's supposed to be all passion all the time where everyone walks around with sex hair and a smile on their face and we all agree on how to spend the money.   

Come in close.  Closer.  A little closer...now, listen up....

THAT IS FUCKING FANTASY LAND!!!! 

If that's what you're after, get a dog.  

Marriage, at it's best, is knowing you choose an imperfect person, to build an imperfect life with and that sometimes you're going to slam a door in someones face and that shitty days with shitty attitudes are perfectly normal.  They happen.  Building a life with someone is really hard - life is really hard! Why do we assume we are entitled to be happy and fulfilled all the damn time inside the bubble of marriage?  The goal is obviously to minimize the amount of shitty days and slammed doors, who the fuck wants to live like that all the time (or even most of the time) but sometimes you're just not going to be in the mood to be someones everything.  It's a lot to ask of a person - to complete you and all. It's a lot to expect someone to anticipate your every wish and desire and then punish them when they come up short.  Sometimes a bullshit expectation will very simply yield you a bullshit response.  

Something you'll hear out of my mouth or see in my writings a lot is this: You cannot have it all, all at the same time.  

I apply this to life about a hundred times a day.  It's my adulating mantra.  

I cannot marry a complicated, dynamic, unique individual (traits I celebrate) and then expect them to think and act just like me.  

I cannot marry someone who thinks and acts just like me and then expect there to be surprises and passion or wonder why I'm so bored or not challenged.

I married a man, it's not reasonable to ask him to process like a woman.  

He married a woman, it's not reasonable for him to expect me to process like a man.

So shit is going to happen.  Marriage is going to be hard.  It's supposed to be HARD! If it was easy there would be no reward, no value, no reason to remain invested other than sharing the responsibility of cleaning dirty dishes and dragging the trash outside.  That I can do all by myself - I'm in this for something more.  Something meaningful.  

See those resting bitch faces?
Mine. xoxo

So rather then spending my day compiling a list of all the reasons I have a right to be mad or hurt and digging deep into the archives to throw out old shit at him (because nothing solves one problem like hurling 15 more at someone) I'm going to spend the day thinking about how many great things my husband does for me and our family, how fortunate we are. I'm going to focus on all of his good traits and the things I love most about him (like his resting bitch face - I do, I love it!)  I'm going to spend the day reminding myself that I'm not perfect either and that I'm pretty hard to live with myself.  I'm a fucking crazy person too and I'm fortunate to have a great partner who doesn't spend nearly as much time as I do asking me to read his mind or articulating my short comings.  

You really can't give all the fucks...

I'm taking a social media break, trying to sort out how I use social media and what value it gives back  to me.  I've struggled with a love/hate relationship with Facebook for years.  Recently, I just couldn't take it anymore.  Every time I opened my phone I was opening my own personal gateway to hell - Mark Manson, my new writer crush, calls this "the feedback loop from hell".  It was so wonderful to be able to attach words to my frustration and unsettledness. It really is the feedback loop from hell!! Thank you dude!!

It's not just the politics (although it's a lot of the politics right now) it's the other bullshit too that I give a lane on the superhighway right into my life, my mind, my subconscious. I realized that I couldn't just remain neutral.  All of it one way or another moved my needle, and that became exhausting.   Maybe it was that we haven't seen the sun in Michigan in a fucking month, or that it's assumed currently that if you don't subscribe to one popular set of beliefs it's because you are acting without thought (that one really angers me.  In fact I'm going to sit and overthink about how much that one bugs me) or maybe it's all the finger pointing and blaming or the mindless dribble from pop culture, but I was getting bitter and I don't like bitter.

Men's Health writes an article, "How to tell if your heading towards a sexless marriage" I'm bored, scrolling through Facebook so I take the click bait - and there it is, in black and white - words telling that that because we sleep on opposite sides of the bed, routinely, we are heading towards a vanilla marriage where no one gets laid and everyone acts like an asshole.  Fuck! No asterisk for me that says *unless your snore like a 300 pound frat boy (yeah, that's me.), then award your husband the metal of honor for sleeping in the same room, night after night, and don't worry about the sex - you have two babies under 3.  That shit will iron itself out.  So I do that thing that husbands love - I start a fight about nothing because I got some bullshit in my head and I let it get the best of me...THAT is his favorite of my crazy traits.  That usually doesn't do much to help the sex either.

Some parenting journal or blogger writes some shit about how kids shouldn't be made to share.  Ironically moms share that article on Facebook like chronic at a music festival: "here, hit this! It's great!"  So I read this garbage that 5 billion people liked and I think "what the fuck is wrong with me, I kind of think learning to share is a big deal.  No one likes an asshole" and now I'm questioning all of my parenting techniques.  Which you know as a parent really means you're just questioning yourself.

Last summer after I posted "A prayer for my children" I had one of the biggest fights with a friend I've ever had.  I typically don't fight with friends - it was super foreign and deeply upsetting to me.  When we got past the trigger that the post was in poor timing (for personal events in our lives), she told me that she just thought it was mean, the idea, the words -she found them mean and unsympathetic.  I valued her opinion as a close friend.  So what did I do? I obsessed for DAYS - was I cruel? Did I hurt someone? Was my idea that "life is going to suck at times, that this will remain constant throughout your life, so make some peace with it" cold or insensitive? Eventually I added a disclaimer to the post.  You know, just in case you don't see the world the way I do and you believe I'm trying to pass this all off as truth...and this bothered me for a long time.  I don't ever attempt to be mean, quite the opposite, I enjoy making people feel empowered, helping people to feel good about exactly who they are right now.  But I held on to this, I held onto the words when she told me that if I'm going to put my opinions out there, I have to be prepared to defend them.  I suppose that has (in my mind) some half truth to it.  I'm happy to discuss my opinions, elaborate further but since I do not believe my opinions are fact, defending them as if they are fact, defending myself for having an opinion you disagree with - not really something I'm interested in doing.

Also, you're (not just one person, the global "you" here) YOU are welcome to just say; "I disagree, now I'll move along."

I got caught in the feedback loop from hell.

After that I began to question everything I wrote: Is this kind? Will I offend someone? Is my belief wrong? Then politics happened and now I'm seeing things daily that are personally attacking good people that I know and love.  Not their political position, but the actual person.  Their character, their morality, their level of perceived kindness or goodness.  It upsets me and I'm not hardwired for being quietly upset without a release.  I'd be a horrible stonewaller.  I'd last seconds. 

The kicker last week was seeing the status of a "friend" that read: I'm done being polite - if you're not mad as hell we don't want you in our fucking lives right now! And it got like 200 hearts.  My take away was: if you don't subscribe to exactly what I feel and believe then fuck you, go away, I'd like to sit and listen only to people who parrot back exactly what I say - the rest of you hold no value to me.   And 200 people supported that with passion.  I couldn't deal.  The fucking feedback loop from hell, so fuck it.  I finally took a much needed break, because this superhighway of feedback is unhealthy, unproductive and it keeps me from actually engaging in my own life.

In all of this shit I was taking in, the static and white noise, the ridiculous desire to write without offending anyone - I forgot the most important thing: A blog (or my Facebook page) are my words. And it SHOULD be for me.  Once it stops being that, it's all shit.  My new favorite author reminded me of that.

I was stuck trying to give all the fucks. 

I do not write with an intention to piss people off, and I do not write with an intention to make people agree with me.  I write for me.  It's that simple.

How I imagine I look giving no fucks

You do not have to agree with me.  You don't have to think I'm right. I am okay with that...well now I am.  I do not need to be corrected or enlightened and I don't need to be validaded - my thoughts are well thought out, whether you like them or not. You may choose to find my words mean or insensitive or thoughtless or ignorant - I don't give one teeny, tiny fuck.  I don't give a teeny tiny fuck because I'm indifferent or I'm out to hurt you, I don't give a teeny tiny fuck because I know that's not my intention.  I cannot write from a completely vulnerable or honest place while simultaniously worrying about how it will be interpreted or if the reader walks away with something other than my original intent.  It would drive me mad.  How you digest what I'm tossing out there, whether you even pay attention to it,  that's up to you.  When I sit down to write I am expelling all the bullshit that's been swimming around in my brain, being picked over and disected and over analyzed.  I write when the only way to purge my brain and find relief is to put pen to paper.  I not so secretly hope that you connect with my words, but I enjoy emotional intimacy so I eat that shit up like candy.   At the end of it all it's really up to you, not me. These are words from my brain based on my experiences and how I sort through them and make sense out of life.   You get to have your own place.  I support that!!   So you can have all the opinions you desire about me but respectfully I no longer wish to know of them all.  Some of them get to be just yours.  I know of only one truth and that is that these words are MY truth and that's all that matters. To me. You choose what matters to you.

To the 3 people that read this blog, if you haven't read Mark Manson's work I recommend it.  Per usual I was late to the party, but when all the cool kids were listening to 2 Pac I was rocking out to Joni Mitchell so I've grown accustomed to my late arrivals. 

Ugh - Politics.

I'm probably not the only person whose Facebook page has gone back to a hot bed of political posts this past week,  and for anyone reading this who is also on my Facebook page you know I'm right there in the thick of it too.  

So much to debate!

So many opinions to share!

So many people to convenience!

So many words to justify our beliefs!

So many people left only to defend their view point rather than celebrate that they have a fucking view point in the first place!

America is in an unhappy marriage, and it seems to be constantly discussing hot topics and touchy issues with a renewed passion for position.  I think this is mostly a good thing but I also hope over the next 4 years we really do find a way to bridge the gap between us and heal, not just continue to debate and call names.

I subscribe to a variety of news and blogs from all sides, and I have a diverse group of friends also sharing additional writings from all sides.  And I read these, and I appreciate the conversations that come out of them.  However, maybe I am just reading the wrong posts from the wrong groups but I've noticed that most of what I read, from BOTH SIDES, seems to subscribe to this tone:  

"THIS is why I'm right and you're wrong and if you would just agree to this point, this point, and this point you'd see clearly how wrong you are." 

- OR -

"It's so clearly THIS! You must be too [fill in negative statement about the opposing side] to see it this way"

Oh my God!  America needs couples therapy!! Fuuuuck! Every group seems to be trying to convince the opposing side of their views; we are fighting to win, not fighting to understand.  And I'm guilty of this myself.

What if we are all wrong and all a little bit right? What if we stop trying to convince our neighbors to see the world our way and instead we begin to tell our neighbors how we feel about and view the world and why. What if as the neighbor we stop trying to sell our own agenda and instead we truly listen and seek to understand someone who seems "unreasonable"?

What if we all made it our new mantra: "You can't have it all, all at the same time" and we truly and sincerely started to look for places of compromise. 

Our politicians, no matter who they are, will not stand a chance against us if we figure out how to solve our differences and work towards solutions, not wins.  We elect them.  We vote on the issues.  We can choose to continue arguing to win, to convince,  to point out flaws, shortcomings or imbalances  (This never works in my marriage.  Maybe it's just me)  or we can consider that we are a DIVERSE collection of unique and beautiful individuals.  This country is a melting pot of different religions, theologies and political views - many of which may be 180 degrees from your own beliefs. You are not going to get everything you want.  Don't worry, no one will.

Perhaps all of our answers lie someplace right in the middle -  but it takes bravery to stop fighting to win your side and instead to look for areas of compromise.  We are however the "home of the brave" so I still believe in us.

Any good marriage counselor will tell you respectful communication and a sincere desire to understand, even to empathize with the other persons view, is a great place to start when you disagree.  

I know this.  I'm on my second marriage.  

Not every thought is going to be a gem

My brain is a crazy whackadoodle place that is mostly manageable - until it's not.  

I remind myself that EVERYONE has their story, their own whackadoodle thoughts and most days this helps me feel normal, helps me rationalize my own fears and insecurities and demons and on other days I just feel exhausted and over it.  

I picked up my bag of shit young, and more than 25 years later I find that I still, on a daily basis, have to choose, "will I breath life into this thought or will I extinguish it?"  

This may be one of the greatest lessons I've learned (through therapy) and that I am still learning through constant practice.  I hope to teach this to my children: YOU CAN control your thoughts! You CAN give them life, nurture them and let them grow roots or you CAN say, "nope! not today,  out with you" and you have the amazing ability to redirect your brain and boot out the poison that shows up without an invitation.  

Not every thought needs to be entertained! Not every one will be a gem. I have a toddler - trust me, some thoughts are just space filler while your brain is allowed to wander. 

For me though here's the thing: I will struggle with this forever! But I have yet to meet someone who doesn't also carry around their own bucket of crazy.  We are all fucking nuts.  All of us.  For me, there will most likely never be a day when my brain doesn't invite in anger, or fear, or panic or resentment or self pity, but just because it's there doesn't mean I have to host it.  I may not have chosen the event that triggered this, but I do get to choose what stays and what goes.  I have that power.  I get to control that.  

I can be angry that this is now a part of how I function or I can just make peace with the fact that I was changed by a traumatic event and now that's a part of my tapestry like it or not.  

I choose peace.

Maybe this is one of the reasons I'm such a "living out loud" kind of girl; sharing my crazy - either by verbalizing it or writing it I am able to rationalize it, which helps me then to box it back up and give it a cozy home in the "shit we don't entertain" corner of my brain.  It's when I try to hold it all in, when I let myself believe I am the ONLY ONE with damage or when I quietly pretend that I'm not freaking-the-fuck out that I let my guard down just enough for those little buggers to grow some roots.  I am an ugly person when my brain is overrun with weeds!!  Trust me, it's a lot easier to pull out one weed than to pull out a thousand. So grab them one-at-a-time as they come and don't ever stop.  

I believe this is all part of the human experience, what makes us amazing, resilient, dynamic and empathetic souls.  Our damage is part of what makes us beautiful.  Celebrate that you are a survivor rather than living as if you've been a victim.  And when all else fails, ask for help.  Asking for help is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and I'm always a fan of a good gift. 

To Whom it may concern

Dear Makers of Elf on a Shelf,

Seriously! This Elf - he's killing me!

I see adorable photos ALL OVER my Facebook and Instagram feed of this lil guy doing clever things: he's wearing adorable costumes, getting into cute mischief, making childhood magic.  I wish I was THAT mom, I'd love to be that mom -  but let me be honest here,  I am soooo not that mom! However, mom guilt.  Modern-pintrest-social media-make every moment fucking magical- mom guilt...give me a good reason to pull out my credit card and solve his one like the consumer driven woman that I am.

Here's what I need to participate in this "tradition" and go back to sleeping peacefully in December.

I'd like a kit - 12 days.  I'm not even gonna fool myself into believing i'll be starting this the day after Thanksgiving.  I just won't.  In fact I'm a procrastinator with a busy schedule and a full brain so I'd like to be able to get this kit via Amazon Prime and within 48 hours.  Pretty please.  If you could just auto refill this yearly and charge my card, that'd be great too.

Please make sure to include a clean napkin.
Most weeks I still forget to buy toilet paper.

I would like the kit to model that of Blue Apron.  Give me 12 days of photos, accessories and detailed instructions on how to dress and hide that little guy.  Leave nothing to my over taxed imagination.

Bonus points if you can also include wine to fill my modern advent calendar. Because Holidays.


 Kindly Yours,

Adorable! Will you please add in a magic
sponge so that I can put this one on social media.

One of my favorites! Can you please include the flour.
Or maybe a pre-made mix of some sort so that my kids find
this one plausible. 

Kristi

10 Winter Activities for Toddlers

So, Michigan winter - it sucks! Sure there are a few really nice days when the sun is out and the three feet of snow has not yet turned into a giant, deadly ice bank, but mostly it's sub zero temps with shitty blowing winds and black slushy snow lining the streets.  Not exactly the picture of a Dickens painting.  

I'm a summer girl with sunshine in her veins! I love nothing more than playing outside, hiking, parks, gardening, the water - so long as the temperature remains above 40 degrees I am as happy as the day is long. But currently, I'm held up in our house, with a 3 year old and a 1 year old and it's officially too cold to go outside.  Like seriously, I think it's 4. FOUR! FOUR FUCKING DEGREES.  But with the wind chill it feels like -7.  It's awesome.

Now sure I could take my kids to some local pay-to-play places, with 2 kids that's roughly $16 to walk in the door, plus snacks so that's another $5.  Oh but they have colds - not a big deal, we always seem to leave these places sick anyways so eh.  So let's say we pony up once a week for an additional $80 a month, that still leaves me with 16 days a month, during this awesome season, that I have to occupy them inside.  

So, I have complied a tried and true list of super fun toddler activities for those days (or weeks) when you're just stuck inside. 

1. Make a pretend car out of a box

Put that Amazon Prime habit to good use and turn those old boxes into imaginary vehicles.  Cars, spaceships, trains...the skies the limit.  Well really I'm the limit - I hate to craft and I have ZERO artistic abilities.  My three year old gets really into this but my one year old just wants to rip apart everything he builds, so they fight.  They scream.  They cry. This wonderful exploration into their imagination should give you about 45-90 seconds of pure magic and than it's a shit show of tantrums and fights.  Cheers.

2.  Curl up and watch a Disney classic.

Grab a large glass of wine ahead of time, drink 'er down.  Now prepare to answer all of your 3 year olds questions about why the mommy or daddy just died.  Do this in 5 minute intervals for the next 90 minutes.

3.  Play hide-and-seek

Yeah that's right.  Close those eyes, close em tight.  Now count to 1 million WITH Mississippi's. Enjoy that peaceful moment. Now go find your kids. I hope your house is more child proof than mind.  I found my daughter in her dresser drawer (thanks to her brother).  I panicked at the thought of the dresser tipping over on her and crushing her, I think I read a warning about this on Facebook once. I forgot hide-and-seek was the devils game.  I opened some wine.  We tried again.  My son hid on the couch watching the Disney movie I forgot to turn off, he had more questions about mommies and daddies dying.  I drank the wine I opened.

4. Bake Cupcakes

This one worked out pretty well, I let my son crack the eggs, my daughter helped us stir, I scooped out egg shells and cleaned a dozen eggs off the kitchen floor. All things considered we were doing good until they had synchronizing sneezes right into the batter.  Now you have two choices; bake the sneeze cakes or toss them out.  If you toss them out you get tears.  If you bake them but don't eat a sneeze cake yourself (mooooomy, why won't you try one of my cupcakes?) you also get tears.  Pick your poison. 

5. Play with ALL THE TOYS

That's right - just let those little miracles destroy the house, at least they are occupied.  I let mine bowl with the La Croix.  Then we wait to see which one Daddy opens when he comes home.  This "destroy everything" game works really well until someone steps on a lego.  Usually it's me.  Now I have to spend the next 3 hours reminding my kids that "holy fuck" is a mommy word.  Seriously, stepping on a rogue lego HURTS! 

6. Learning Activities 

There are all kinds of flash cards and workbooks designed for toddlers to help them get into Yale by 14 or something.  I tried this - my daughter ate the flashcards.  All of them.  My three year old just ran in circles around the living room like a Tasmanian devil.  I opened some cheep champagne and raised a glass to community college.  Finally something in our future we can afford! 

7.  Read books

This is one that my kids both love and participate well in.  They LOVE story time!!! It's a wonderful way for us to spend 5 minutes together bonding.  It's the next 11 hours and 55 minutes of my day that make me nuts.  I have to remind them, again, and again, and again, that it's too cold to play outside.  We practice numbers when I do this; "see this is the number 3, that's how warm it is.  The number 38 is mommies cut off...do you know how many numbers come after 3 and before 38..." Here - have some YouTube.  Is 11 hours of Paw Patrol too much? 

8. Paint

Go ahead girl and get your craft on! We finger paint - I have the Instagrams to prove it.  It takes me longer to set up and clean up then their attention spans can handle, always requires a bath afterwards and somehow we got paint on the ceiling but yeah, get that craft on! I love the sounds of them laughing and creating....followed shortly by the sounds of them fighting over the same paint brush.  My daughter loves to do whatever her brother is doing, wants whatever is in his hands, likes to try to sit in his lap.  He responds by painting on her.  She screams.  Everyone cries.  I only attempt this one when I discover a forgotten IPA in the back of my fridge.  That 9% alcohol makes it easier to listen to them scream while I attempt to get paint off of the ceiling.  Here's to a magical childhood! 

9. Go to Target

Pack-up.  Go stroll through Target.  Spend $300.  Wish you'd of just paid the $20 and gone to the kids play place to catch a new round of hand-foot-mouth disease. 

10.  Suck it up and play outside

Nope! Nope! Nope! I put this one on here because it just felt right, but there's not a snowballs chance in hell I'm going outside in single digit weather to play.  It takes me an hour to bundle everyone up.  My daughter just stands there and cries - yeah lady, I get it.  Mommy is crying on the inside too.  My son reminds me of my old lab, he stomps around in the snow like a little snow king, pulling off his gloves because he can't grab things with them on.  I use my mom voice "Jackson, you MUST wear gloves!" He refuses.  I turn around and my daughter is still crying.  She hates her winter clothes.  Then I have to drag him kicking and screaming back inside before the frost bite sets in.  

Is it May yet?

It's with a heavy heart I announce our divorce...

My husband and I had a disagreement on how we view our marriage and the priorities we have set.  I said during this discussion that:

 "I'm afraid if we continue along this path at some point one of us is going to have an affair"

What Mark heard was:

 "I cheated on you - in fact I'm actively cheating on you right now."

He began to yell and scream and got hysterical because he feared I would ruin our marriage, disrespect him and our kids and cause him great harm and hurt. 

I repeated:

 "babe, I DID NOT cheat on you, what I said was...." but he cut me off. He was so upset that I cheated on him that he STOPPED listening to me. 

That night he moved out of our bed room.  The more he sat reflecting on my infidelity the more angry and emotional he became. The next day he continued to REACT. 

In the morning he took to Facebook:

"I just wanted to let our friends and family know that Kristi cheated on me. She admitted this to me by her own words and I've decided to act to protect our kids. I ask for your prayers and well wishes during this emotional and difficult time" 

I was dumbfounded, because ya know, I didn't ACTUALLY cheat on him. He'd misunderstood me completely. 

I got a call later that day from my mom - she was devastated.  How could I do that she asked? I explained, or tried to explain, that I did NOT cheat on him but she cut me off: 

"Kristi, I saw it on facebook. Why would Mark write that if it's NOT true? He would never do that! That's not the Mark we know. Stop hiding the truth from me!" 

I got the feeling she had made up her mind before she even called me. 

So Marks declaration of my indiscretion was shared and the news spread and you can imagine most of our family rallied behind Mark.  I, had after all, completely betrayed him and the sanctity of our marriage.  

Our home became hostile, divided.  I stopped trying to correct him and instead just began to plan for our eminent divorce.  I waited for him to file first.  Since I had NEVER ACTUALLY cheated on him I did not feel that being the first to file for divorce was appropriate. 

So, Mark REACTED by filing for divorce as well as sole custody of our kids.  My infidelity, according to him, had ruined our home, emotionally wrecked our kids and he didn't want them to be raised by someone who would do such horrible things to someone they "loved".  He also sat them down to tell them that they were all moving out.  The kids are devastated but I guess I should have expected some collateral damage...

After about a year I tried one last time to save our marriage.  I came to him and said:

 "babe, I'd really like to explain what I meant last year when I made that comment"

Mark just went to his phone, opened up FB and showed me his post from last year: 

"I just wanted to let our friends and family know that Kristi cheated on me. She admitted this to me by her own words and I've decided to act to protect our kids. I ask for your prayers and well wishes during this emotional and difficult time" 

Ahh, damn you Time Hop! 

He pointed to this post and said:

 "I wrote this post so that you couldn't manipulate me down the road into believing your lies! I get to see, in black and white and with my OWN eyes what YOU DID to us!"

But DID I?

Well fuck. There it goes, my marriage - if only he had waited to REACT he may have seen that I NEVER ACTUALLY CHEATED ON HIM! Oh the good times we could possibly have had...maybe it would have all been okay. 

Maybe not, but I didn't even get a chance to prove him right, his mind was already made up and there was NO CHANGING it. I mean, he read his own words...written in FEAR, but he read his own words and no matter what I did, or what I said, he just re-read his words and reaffirmed that I CHEATED. 

I'm trying to keep politics off of my blog.  BUT it's crazy to me, no matter what your politics, how we read and hear what we WANT to hear! It's no longer just the far left or the far right publishing slanted opinions or "news stories" it seems to be EVERYWHERE! I have lost faith in ALL media - it's ALL become propaganda in my opinion. I scroll through my news feed and there are two stories 180 degrees apart about the same event - it's unbelievable.  I like a good reaction as much as anyone but people are ready to undermine our entire democratic process, bulling the Electoral delegates in hopes they go rogue, SENDING THEM DEATH THREATS and talking about a MAJOR (and not really plausible) amendment to the constitution because they are AFRAID the President Elect MIGHT do something horrible based on what's been WRITTEN about what he SAID.  Do we really want to set a precedent that we can change the outcome of a vote? Based on a belief of what they MAY do? Really? Those are muddy waters no matter what side of the coin you're on.  Can't we all just calm the fuck down for just a minute...just a wee minute and SEE if he ACTUALLY DOES something before we REACT? 

Mitch Album reminded us something that I loved and found wise and comforting: "we didn't elect a king, we voted in a president" - one who was scrutinized by EVERYONE including his own party, that very same party that he needs to ACTUALLY implement policy and law.  Maybe we don't have to throw baby out with the bath water just yet. 

**My husband would like me to remind those that struggle with being literal, that there is not a font for sarcasm or metaphors. We are happily married, I adore him - in fact I kinda wanna grab his ass right now. Just sayin.