So? How Was It?

Have you ever had an experience that was just impossible to sum up, but everyone's first question is "how was it"?

I went on an impromptu camping trip my senior year of college instead of taking my final exams. 

A few details:  Yes, I did not graduate, and I wouldn't for another six years.  No, I was not failing out or even close to failing out.  No, I do not have a good excuse - in fact my only reasoning was that I just wasn't in the mood to take an exam that day, and this sounded more fun. Yes, classic 20 something Kristi.  Yes, my parents deserve an award.  Yes, during the story that you are about to read George and Jan believed (with no reason not to) that I was 2 hours away, at school, like everyone else, taking my exams and preparing to walk.  Anyways, I digress....

So I went on this road trip, first to the Kentucky Derby and then on a backcountry camping trip. We hiked into the Smoky Mountains from Gatlinburg - me, the guy I was seeing and his friend.  (Again, sorry parents. ) Anyways, after a good days hike into the mountain, we awoke to freezing temps, pouring rain, a soaked and leaking tent, horrible thunderstorms and an overall shitty day.  After what felt like a few hours of misery hoping the storm would pass, and some deliberation, we packed up and started to hike out to the next camp site - which was an actual shelter.  A mile in we were met with flash flooding coming off the top of the mountain and our path was now an uncrossable and rushing little river.  The storms picking up, the winds got colder and we decided "fuck it" lets hike out for the car.  A few miles in the opposite direction and we were again met with flash flooding, and a new raging river cutting right into our trail.  If you've never hiked in the backcountry you should know that alternate routes are not always easy to come by.  We were essentially trapped. 

What we didn't know at the time was that tornado storms (that had not been predicted) had blown in and there were tornados' touching down all over.  

We decided to attempt a leap-frog escape.  We repacked our bags, the guys taking the essentials and I was going to climb down the steep side of the mountain and try to wedge my backpack between two boulders.  We'd use that bridge to then cross the river.  In the rain.  On wet and slick rock.  It didn't end well. 

I don't recall all the details and I've retold the story so many times that it seems surreal at this point but I lost my footing and I slipped off the wall of rock I was climbing down and went into the freezing, raging river - still wearing my backpack.  I think I just started clawing at the rocks as I was swept down stream.  The guys I was with went running after me.  I remember looking up and seeing a look of fear in E's eye as he lunged for me.  I never want to be on the receiving end of that look again.  The river that I fell into swept around a bend and then fell off into a dramatic waterfall.  All of this was far too close for my comfort.  I'm a pretty big fan of life.  E somehow grabbed ahold of my pack and flung me up onto the rocks.  It was pretty terrifying for everyone involved. 

After that we took only our two man tent, left a pack there at the tail head, and we looked for the highest and most secure ground we could find to setup.  Then we did what you do when someone falls into hypothermic water and you're trapped in 35 degree rain - we got naked and spooned.  And prayed.  And talked.  And miraculously, no one lost their shit.  It was all kind of amazing for three college kids, who barely knew each other, and collided into this crazy moment.  

I don't know how many hours went by - the storms went on all night.  When they cleared the next morning it was so beautiful out, not a cloud in the sky! Almost everything around us had been washed away and was now a small stream of mountain water and mud.  The guys went to hang up our wet sleeping bags and soaked clothing to dry on the bear lines - they were just shy of waist deep in now flooded waters.  

While I was up at our tent cleaning it out, I heard whistles being blown from the direction where we had left the backpack.  Wearing only my tiva's and E's fleece I went running, full throttle, up the hill to see 3 badass park rangers smiling at me from across the raging river.  I swear one of them wiped away a tear.  They told us later how bad the storms had been and that they had tried to hike out to us but had to turn back for their own safety.  The other hikers on that trail had been pulled out safely - it was just us they were out looking for.  

The water between us was too loud to be heard shouting back and forth, so we played a quick game of charades and I understood they needed me to go get the others and bring them back there.  By the time I'd returned they had a walkie-talkie in a pastic bag on a rope, ready to be tossed over to us.  They also gave us dry clothes, a dry blanket and food.  They were awesome! One of them lit a Marlboro Red, I think I fell in love.  Then I asked for a dry smoke and he tossed me the pack.  If that ranger had proposed, I'd of said yes.  

They had a mixed bag of news for us. 

Bad News: You're trapped.  You're not in a place we can get a helicopter in easily/safely/reasonably and we can't build a bridge.  This shit happens and since no one is critically injured, you're gonna have to wait a day or two for this river to go down and hike your own asses out.  They tied a rope off to a tree and fed it over to us, we did the same.  We'd use that line to help us cross the river when the water went down.  They also took down our parents names and numbers so that they could contact them.  Awesome.  Mine weren't home so they left a message on the answering machine. 

"Hi, this is Ranger Rick - I just wanted to let you know that we have located your daughter but we are unable to get to them to pull them out.  They seem to be in high spirits (that's a verbatim.  That sentence was my sisters favorite part of the entire ordeal, and chances are that we were in fact, stoned) and we've given them food.  They should be able to hike out in a few days."

My two younger sisters heard the message first.  Knowing they pretty much just won at being the favorites they eagerly passed the message along to my parents. 

So yeah, that's how they first found out I wouldn't be graduating that year.  Ranger Rick, on the answering machine, while they thought I was 2 hours away.  I'm a dick.  Moving on....

Good News: We have rations! What do you need! 

Oh, my God we ate like kings that night! I've not had a lot of experience with Army rations, but man I was starving and I remember it tasting as good as Thanksgiving dinner! 

Bad News: There are more storms forecasted for later in the week, so (and now I'm paraphrasing) ya'll look like a bunch of stoners, who have limited skills and resources - don't dick around and get your asses out as soon as this river drops. 

Two days later we hiked out.  We were exhausted, filthy, still covered in mud and I probably a little bloody and bruised.  I imagine we looked like we were hiking out of the hell-mouth as we reached the parking lot.  There were two fresh-from-the-car hikers, on their way in, they had huge smiles and a bounce in their step.  I'm pretty sure one of the guys yelled "Turn back now! Save yourself!" Or maybe I added that part over the years.  Either way, that's how this story ends now when I tell it. 

The point is - it was such a crazy experience, one that I did not see coming.  I signed up for a camping trip, not a life changing, go left or go right, pivotal moment kind of thing.  It was the kind of experience that when someone says, "how was it" the only real response is, "do you have time for a beer?"  

Not all of these moments are so dramatic, nor should they be! Writing that story now, as a mom, Oh-Good-Lord the fresh hell that would await my child if they pulled that shit! But the one constant that I see in these moments is the ability to just let go and free fall for a brief second.  Don't let your fears, your paradigms, your past, your own head get in the way - just for a minute, live in the moment and then shake the shit out of it. 

The best adventures I've ever had didn't bring a stamp to my passport or require a paychecks worth of money - only that I let go of fear and dive in.  As an adult I appreciate the opportunity to experience the shift you know, without almost dying or throwing responsibility out the window.  It's a huge plus when you get to experience the shift and also positively impact others - THOSE are the moments! The sweet spot in life that reminds us why we are here and what it's all about.  Or maybe I've just gotten old and boring. 

I did this when I decided to shave my head.  I went all in.  There were plenty of times I could have let the fear of the unknown consume me, but I didn't.  I held on to the support of my tribe and stayed present in what was happening and just enjoyed the ride.   Over the past two months the rainbow of feels has been felt and seen.  (Thank you Husband!)  The entire experience has been, without a doubt - the coolest, craziest, most rewarding, life changing and eye opening thing I've done yet.  It's going to take me a minute to find the words, the story - but if you are even a little bit wondering, "could I do this", "could I shave MY head for St. Baldricks" the answer is a big, fat, YES!!!! A thousand times YES!

Find your free fall moment.  If it's not shaving your head in a bar or finding a calm place within a literal storm - find your moment, and then let go of all your fears for a split second and dive in.  You'll never regret it.